I want to...

Trying to shake it all off and move on. Proving to be tougher than you knew. But, then again, what do you know? Since when are you the authority on my levels of sanity?

I want to...

• Indulge in happiness. Guilt free.
• Carry on and not feel like I let you down.
• Curl up under my desk and act like a 4 year old who lost her favourite doll.
• Delete all pictures from good times.
• Frame all pictures from forgotten times.
• Work harder than I have in 4 years.
• Call YK at SoTech and tell him exactly why I didn't renew the contract. And yes it was ME.
• Get through one Sunday without wanting to call you and tell stories from work that I know would make you proud.
• Believe it when you tell me this is forever.
• Stop holding my breath, waiting for Krash.
• Tell you I missed you once but one day I just stopped and I still can't understand why. And that scares me.
• When I say it's all good, really mean it.
• Vent to you without feeling like I could never compete with your losses...but you are the only one who "gets" it
• Just have faith. In everything. All over again.

When happiness used to be this easy...