Death of a best friend(ship)

I have to wonder sometimes. Do you miss me as much as I miss you? (I sound like the opening of a cheesey country song!) Do I ever cross your thoughts even though there are better things occupying your thoughts now. Not being holier than thou, but life hasn't been a path through fluffy clouds for me lately, yet I still think about you. Not because I need you (that too) but because I want you to be ok. The instinct to survive is by far the strongest in all of us and I know we will both eventually be fine. Just want to make sure if this is how you want it. Actually I'm lying, I know this is how you want it. Just hoping you'd want things to change.

What triggered this?

Thought of the tennis-playing-aristocratic-buffoon (with your hairstyle!) that we met at Vox and cracked up. Would you remember now if I made the reference? Robert Palmer girls on Halloween, Outfits for HHs, SouperSalad with D, Stinking of the sushi buffet during work, No one gets Bruce D'Costa like you do, Neela and gujju food stench on finger tips, Saks, Finding the right boots every winter, Chapts pedicures, Lavish birthdays, Bonding over major heart breaks @ *bucks, Emails passwords, Wedding Planning and then Planners(!) Macho ex-es that left us stronger...I never replaced you. I can't. Never even tried. I guess I can't understand how things just change. Again I lie. I know how they change, I just don't believe they have.

It's over. I know. I'll be gone soon. I know. The question is will I leave by setting the record straight or get even by not even trying?

I miss you. Miss us. Not me when we were us. Or you when you were us. That's enough to crack us up. Again. Cracking up on long drives. Our appetite. Hahahahha. Walking it off to Cheesecake Factory and inhaling 700% of our required caloric intake...and that's pre-dinner!

I have to wonder though. Do you still care?

If only...