Picking up from exactly where you left

So here's my thing. How do you decide what's right for me? I know you think you are doing the right thing but (devils advocate alert) what if I want the wrong thing?

Feel free to bring out the moral compass. Now watch the magnet pull you places you didn't know existed or better yet, have been to, but always judged because you were to weak to allow yourself to feel.

Yes you are here. Too. Now. Must be a tough life constantly denying yourself access to yourself and all that makes you happy. But I know what makes me happy, and I have no qualms asking for it. Because at the end of the day, happy wont find me, I need to find it.

On that note she realized that despite all the years, lives and life, somethings were still the same.

She closes her eyes, takes a shallow breath and falls backwards.

"Welcome back," whispers Life.

And just like that

Been so long I thought I had forgotten how to but I guess it's even more second nature than riding a bike. Not sure why I stopped but felt almost violated just knowing I was being read by someone who I never wanted to have any further insight into me. Enough damage done courtesty you in 3 years don't you think? I still waver sometimes, I still have it in my head even now that I am an adult, it still makes me question myself on occasions when I can't afford to be unsure. And now, sounds like you may just be following my dream. Yes it was mine. Don't you dare make it sound like it was your idea. One more faint spirited floozy by your side and you are all set. This time though, enough ms. nice guy. I can't destroy you, I am aware, but you were always your own worst enemy and finally I see you setting yourself up for another fall and I shall watch as you get crippled. Promise. Because we all know you will. Even you do.

And then it whips you in the face

...and it's too shocking to even shut your eyes. And you freeze because you can't believe it's actually happening to you. You see it all. Out of body experience #582.

Maybe I really am just being a Drama Queen (DQ). No it's not entirely impossible, I know. Yes yes, even I am not perfect. (She is in a slightly modest mood today, so indulge yourself)

But seriously, I never prepared myself for such blatant set backs and hypocrisy. So I know it's apparently a man's world, and it can be the Islamic Republic of all things demonic, and I know that I should not be surprised but it really just bites. Big time. I just never allowed myself to believe any of this. Naivete or plain faith. Slice it however you want, right now all parts are equal. It was E. RVelt who said something along the lines of "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," correct? I strongly believed it but when the hell did I sign the consent form? I don't remember any such discussion.

Always 2 options. Ready? Take the blows and carry on stronger, or take the blows and carry on stronger (as the middle finger is displayed to the world) Because you, Madam Modesty, were never the right complexion to wear failure in a complimentary manner. Terrible.

Whether it happens or not, whether the world changes or not, atleast I know that I won't let anything change me - because that would be letting them win. And what have we already said about failure?

She fixes her tiara and moves on with life...(atleast for today)

hohumbug

"If you let go of love just to know if it's what you want , you will never really get it's true worth."

Hmmm. So don't believe that. Whatever happenned to soft, gentle understanding love? Since when did love become so vindictive? Besides I choose to do what I want. Yes, even if every step turns out to be my next biggest mistake.

So there!

StuckInReverse

So tempting. Listening to a song from a past life can act like a time machine. Every cell is transported back and planted in another dimension. All new things learnt since are erased. What's strange is the juxtoposition of the older - maturer version of you, with the feelings of the younger - confused you. And it hits you that despite everything, you just never learnt your lesson because you would do it exactly the same way all over again.
How can you really miss someone when you aren't who you were then, and they never were who you thought they were?

Timing

So important...right person, wrong time...wrong person, right time...it just has to be right down to a science.(click)
Mrs BL-Snr asked me once who the one who got away was. I was stumped because I had no clue. Every story had a logical conclusion or enough of a reason to end. But there is always that one, right? And then I saw something today that made me stop for just a single moment and look. Not just see. One of those, "when you least expect it" moments?
Probably absolutely wrong , but if it's in my head, it's not open to judgement.(snicker)
Amazing how it's not about what has happened, what can happen, or even what is happening. Sometimes, just knowing what could have happened is enough to make you smile.
Yes, one of those days when you don't have to find an excuse to be happy. Happy just finds you. (teeheehee)